What Your Favorite Christmas Cookie Says About You
The holidays mean something different for everyone. You may be excited about reuniting with family and expressing gratitude, while setting unobtainable goals for the new year. Maybe you’re the kind of person that uses Christmas as a perfect excuse to gift everyone that one thing you bought once and loved so much that you now take it upon yourself to be a personal spokesperson because you KNOW they will love it too. (That’s a shoutout to myself. Daring Greatly by Brenée Brown, 2017. No recipient has read it...yet. But they will. And they’ll love it.)
However, or why-ever you celebrate Christmas, there's one thing that defines this time of the year that we can all agree on. Loosen your belts and pop some tums, y’all. I’m talking about Christmas Cookies. In honor of the Nebo Agency 2022 Holiday Cookie Swap, I have put together the final and definitive list of The Top 10 Christmas Cookies and What They Say about You.
This is final. I confirmed with Santa himself. Please leave your objections in the comments below, and we’ll get back to you in 3 to 5 business years.
You’re an ‘experiences’ person. For you it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey getting there. The highs, the lows, the royal icing that is now turned to concrete on your kitchen table. You’re human-centered and care less about the cookie than the joy of everyone gathering around the cookies. In fact, you don’t actually like cookies. You’re just in the Holiday Spirit. You’ve got on your Christmas sweater and you’re in the zone.
Sugar Cookie Shapes with Sprinkles
You may be perceived as a chameleon, but let’s face it, deep down you're a pretty regular basic person. You adorn yourself with the fashions de jour. Your friends, partners, current hobbies and the latest trends define your exterior. You're already planning your Valentine's day outfit in December. Your Amazon shopping cart is full of new yoga gear even though you’ve only gone to one class so far. When you go to Florida this summer, you WILL buy puka shells because that’s the new you and let’s face it, they’re kind of coming back in style. As seasons and people come and go, one thing will remain: the bland lifeless sugar cookie.
Who are you? What do you stand for? Maybe you don’t even know. Or maybe you’re intentionally misleading. You say your favorite cookie is a snickerdoodle, but there is in fact, no Snickers to be found. Please seek professional help.
Peanut Butter Blossom Cookies
You like a touch of whimsy and beauty in your life. For you, life is about ‘romanticizing the ordinary.’ You probably own a proper picnic blanket made for picnics. You prefer to drink tea. You make that tea and add a drop of honey and some ginger then you wait for it to cool down. And then it’s too cold to enjoy so the delicate and pretty tea cup just sits there. You put lemon in your water and you prefer your ice cubes a very specific petite size. Your room is neat and tidy. You probably own a cat.
Chocolate Chip, Green and Red M&Ms
You are tried and true. You’re a good time, no gimmicks. Nothing fancy here, just a reliable and friendly person down to enjoy the evening. You’re a good listener and relatable. Generally, everyone likes you. And if they don’t, they probably also claim they ‘don’t like The Beatles’ and therefore don’t deserve you. You tell the host of the party to return the tupperware whenever, “no biggie.”
Lofthouse-Style Frosted Sugar Cookies
You think you’re a man of the people. Humble origins, simple interests. Your taste is terrible, but you will die on a hill for everything you love. Your opinions are fringe, but there are thousands who agree with you. Only YOU are brave enough to say it outloud. You enjoy the momentary fear of choking every time you eat one of these cookies. You probably drink mountain dew for breakfast and you definitely don’t actually know how to bake.
You are suspiciously Italian. Maybe even Sicilian. Nona taught you about Pizzelle. You come from a long line of strong matriarchs and your family gets louder and louder as the night goes on. You have no idea how to make this cookie, you just know that it is the best one out there. You’re highly competitive but easily burnt out. But that’s because the pressure of being the best at what you do really weighs you down.
You are suspiciously Canadian. Something tells me you have proper snow boots and you know which state is Vermont and which state is New Hampshire. You probably have a recipe that was passed down to you and a ‘favorite molasses brand.’ Mrs. Butterworth has never graced your shopping cart. You’re smart, nae - Academic. Most likely a Ravenclaw but with a touch of Hufflepuff.
You are suspiciously German. You probably have family in Wisconsin or Minnesota. Or maybe just a fondness for cheese curds. Someone in your family is definitely from the midwest. You’re nice and make polite conversation with those you don’t know. I think you have a friendly smile and own a snowglobe. You’re happy to eat the Knussen Pfeffer that someone's Great Aunt brought to the party.
Fruit Cake Cookies
You are a traditionalist. You would say your tastes are refined but really you’re hanging on to ‘the good ol’ days’ when people suffered more and had to make their own butter. You like discipline for the sake of discipline but deep down, you’re unhappy and you will stay unhappy until you stop convincing yourself that fruit cake cookies are the best Christmas cookie.
That’s it folks. That’s the final final.v17.FINAL.docx list of Top 10 Christmas Cookies and What They Say About You. If you don’t see yourself represented on this list, you can consider checking out horoscopes, which are also empirically tested, and 100% accurate.
And lastly, to all of you out there baking beautiful Christmas cookies for all to enjoy, keep up the good work. You are the real MVPs and we need you in this world, even those of you who choose to bake oatmeal cookies with raisins.