Coming Out Again & Again
I have always fit in. I was popular in high school. Vice President of my sorority in college. I had friends who mostly identified as straight. Early on in my career, I spent happy hours laughing with my coworkers about bad dates with boys. I had a Patrick Swayze poster on my childhood bedroom wall (though to this day, I argue he is a man for all sexual preferences). I blended in while also marching to the beat of my own drum. I have never lived by the status quo, but also never truly wanted to stand out that much in that way.
It wasn’t until my early 20s that I came out to close friends and family. Overall, it was a wonderfully positive experience. There were a few people who recommended that I don’t tell anyone at work. If it was a “phase” or I “changed my mind,” I wouldn’t want to be labeled something I wasn’t. In the late ’90s and early aughts, there was no term for “gender fluidity” in the lexicon. No gray line to blur gender and sexual expression. You were either gay, straight or a “confused” bisexual.