While we love our SEO specialists, and they really don’t think like this (at least we hope they don’t), we wanted to have some fun and help non-SEO people understand the SEO mind.
Links – The currency by which all value is measured.
Campaign – Brilliant and innovative ways to convince people we are worthy of their links.
Project plan – Step-by-step guide describing how and when we will get links. Keeps my SEOMoz blog reading time in check.
Infographic – Graphical way to get links.
Article – Great way to share our client’s knowledge, and of course, pick up a quality link.
Whitepaper – Excellent excuse to learn more about how tire rubber is synthesized. Oh, also a quality asset for serious, informational linking.
Social media – Meeting and discussion space for those who don’t know about 4chan.
Contest – A competition to give us links.
Quizzes – Introspection! And links, of course.
Web applications or tools – A favorite way to try to get links. Lets me work with my secret crush, the developer.
Scholarships – Way to get .edu links. Also helpful for poor SEO specialists in a down economy.
Designers – Our frenemies. Let’s just say we agree to disagree about the most important function of a website.
Developers – Buddies! We could chat for hours with these friends and allies about the best way to code, and they are our key to getting recommendations implemented correctly.
PPC Specialists – Smart people who don’t understand links, and buy keywords instead of ranking for them organically. Good people, just slightly misguided.
Sales people – Our translators. People that explain SEO to the masses so we can help new clients. Of course, they always leave out the really interesting stuff.
Web Analysts – Really, really cool colleagues. They have our back.
Site map – The best food for spiders other than flies.
Website Copy – A creative challenge. No seriously, we have to challenge creative to let us put copy with keywords in it on the page.
Meta Keywords – Something completely useless that clients continue to ask about, and spam the hell out of.
Schema – Something we bring up to clients, project managers, and developers, but consistently ignore.
Internal linking structure – The glue that binds us all together, and helps Google find your site.
Wireframe Process – A critical deliverable. Makes SEO easier if this stage is done right. Please involve us here. Please! How many times do we have to ask??
Google – The cool kid who has all the best, newest toys – like the popular kid from high school who everyone wanted in their inner circle.
Bing – The backup friend. We’ll hang out with it if nobody better is available, or if Google hurt our feelings recently.
Yahoo – That kid who used to be cool, but then had a really embarrassing public accident that nobody will ever forget.
WolframAlpha – The loner we all want to impress, but secretly know they have no idea who we are.