We love our business development team, and just like the glimpses we’ve given you into the PPC, SEO and Developer Minds, we wanted to have some fun and dive into the inner workings of the biz dev mind:
Leads – simply, what oxygen is to air.
Qualified leads – like getting a new adorable puppy
Unqualified leads – the bane of my existence.
Signed contracts – like getting a new puppy AND a kitten… that love to play together
My spouse – a source that can introduce me to warm leads.
Former colleagues – sources for leads when I’m having a really bad month.
Sales manager – turncoat who pretends she doesn’t remember being in the field.
Creative Director – the magical person that can close my deals for me.
SEO director – the person who specializes in confusing prospects.
PPC director – the person that explains all of the really cool things you can do with digital marketing, which the clients never actually do.
Developers – the people who make just about anything possible.
Web analysts – really smart colleagues who confuse clients more than the SEO team.
Management team – people with permanent amnesia that only care what I’ve sold this month.
Marketing – my heroes when I get leads, my enemies when I don’t.
The client that tells me no – really great person who respected me enough to let me know we weren’t chosen.
The client that tells me the actual project budget – a person that represents everything good and holy in humanity.
The client that won’t tell me the project budget – someone that’s hoping we can magically build something that fits into his spreadsheet.
Someone with an idea – a lead that I have to spend a lot of time with that will never turn into a customer.
The client’s IT Team – the people that look for reasons to say no to my proposal.
RFPs – necessary evils I have to deal with so clients can feel they covered their ass.
Client NDAs from big firms – exciting first step of the actual sales process.
Client NDAs from start ups – typically the beginning of them sharing an awful idea with me.
The guy who’s says budget isn’t an issue – someone without budget.
The guy who asks if we’ll put “skin in the game” – a slimeball who doesn’t believe in his own product.
The prospect who asks to be taken out for dinner and drinks – a freeloader hiding behind his company.
The guy who wants it to go viral – clueless, half-wit hoping that marketing will fix his bad product.
The guy who wants a Facebook strategy – see above.
The prospect that’s fired his last 3 firms – someone to say no to immediately.
The client that asks for spec work – someone who doesn’t understand or respect our work or our process.
The prospect that needs a proposal tomorrow – either someone looking to justify a vendor already chosen, or someone that is so unorganized, they won’t ever be a client anyway.
The guy that says he’ll get back to me next week – coward that won’t say no, but will just never return my future calls or emails.
The sales process – something the sales manager is paid to create based on arbitrary milestones. Assumes client communication is always linear.
Quota – unattainable number that de-incentivizes the sales team.
Pipeline – gobbledygook that I have to update to pretend it reflects future sales.
Lawyers – truly evil people that never actually want contracts to get signed.
Vacations – something that non-sales people get to take.
Weekends – something that allows non-sales people to spend relaxing & enjoying their free time.
Awards – accolades that help me sell to prospects that don’t understand digital.
Case studies – well-written content that helps me sell to prospects that understand digital.
Mobile – the future that clients don’t seem to want to embrace.
Sales presentations – when done right, pure art. When done wrong, death by PowerPoint.